now that I think of it
it never occurred to me
that I’d revealed myself in public
that I’d stripped myself of all my clothes,
of all my layers of guard,
and presented my bare skin to craving eyes
it was hardly realizable
only to be seen afterwards
yet it tells something
mainly to me
it says, even though I fought,
even though I gave my all,
I was never brave enough
to bombard the place to the ground
and plant new seeds to the ashes
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